(taken from “What’s Your Decision” by J. Michael Sparough, SJ and Tim Hipskind, SJ - Loyola Press, 2010)
IDENTIFY THE DECISION TO BE MADE
The issue should be practical and real. Your decision should not be a vague idea or intention. It’s decision to do or not to do something. For example, the thought “I really should do something to get out of this dead-end job” is not an issue for a decision. A decision would be, “I am going to stay in marketing and look seriously for a new job,” or “I’m going to do this (go to graduate school, take some courses, start a side business) to prepare for different career.
The decision should be the one that you have the right to make. You can decide seriously pursue marriage, but you cant get married until you and your partner are both in a serious relationship. You can decide to have career in finance, but you cant decide to work for Citibank until Citibank offers you a job.
You must have the information to make an intelligent decision. Decision making often grinds to a halt because we don’t know enough about the alternatives. What salary will the new job pay? What time commitment does the volunteer opportunity really require? Often we must make a decision without all the information we would like to have. If so, we must take uncertainty into account. “am I willing to take on the new job when I really don’t know how much time it will require?”
STATE THE CHOICE CONCRETELY
State the question as a positive choice as concretely as you can. Be specific. Boil it down to two choices if possible. Most choices can be stated in one of two ways: X versus non-X, or X versus Y. the first kind of decision is something like “I will take a course in conversational Spanish this summer.” The second kind of decision is something like “I will stay in my current job, or I will quit and start my own business.” It’s often helpful to state the choice in the way that appeals to you most at this early stage of decision making. If you want to start your own business, pose the issue that way: “I will start my graphic design business by next July or I won’t do that. Don’t be afraid to tell God what you really want.
PRAY FOR INNER FREEDOM
Achieving true freedom is the most important step and the most difficult one. The goal is to be free to choose the alternative that most fully expresses our deepest selves. We’ve reached this degree of freedom when we can sincerely imagine ourselves living with either choice. We want only to do what God wants, which is what we want in our deepest, true self. To get this point of freedom, we must be free of the personal attachments and desires that stand in the way.
GATHER ALL THE NECESSARY INFORMATION
Get all the relevant facts: what? Where? When? How much? Why? Is decision yours to make, or do others have to make decisions too? If others are involved, have they made these decisions? Are important practical details unclear? Consult with everyone that intimately affected by the decisions (spouse, children, friends, colleagues). Listen to what they think, but also make careful note of how they feel. Are they agitated, enthusiastic, happy for you, worried? Discuss the matter in detail with someone who will be honest with you and objective about the situation. Look for a spiritual counselor who knows you well enough to have an idea of your strengths and weaknesses but is not so close to you as to have a personal stake in what you decide. This person should be able to help you focus on the question: what do I really want?
PRAY FOR INNER FREEDOM AGAIN
Pray about the decision again in light of what you have learned so far. Most likely new issues have arisen. The previous step has stirred up some new feelings and desires. Bring them to God in prayer. People find it helpful at this point to pay attention to the emotions that the process has stirred up.
MAKE A LIST
Take a sheet of paper and list all the reasons for and against each alternative
EVALUATE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES
Ask God for the gift of openness and freedom and then evaluate your list of pros and cons. Go over each reason on the list: reflect on them, pray about them. Be mindful of how they make you feel.
Which reasons seem to be the most important. Starting your own business brings up financial security, time with your children, job satisfaction and family peace. Which one or two of these issues strike you as the most significant? why?
What values emerge? Several advantages and disadvantages may be pointing to the same value. The pros and cons of taking a conversational Spanish course might boil down to a choice between a desire to always be learning something new versus an impulse to be prudent and cautious.
Which core values seem more consistent with your true self. Do you see yourself as a cautious person? A risk taker? Someone who is concerned about the opinions of others? Reflect on these values. What are your motives? Are you truly that kind of person? You may have to spend a lot of this step and repeat earlier steps.
TEST YOUR REASONING WITH YOUR IMAGINATION
You have applied your intellect and reason to the task, and the reasons for preferring one options over the other are lining up. Now, is the time to employ another mental faculty to test these reasons. Use your imagination. Take some time to imagine yourself living out each choice. Imagination is used as a tool to stimulate feelings of consolation and desolation.
MAKE A TENTATIVE DECISION
God has been influencing you through this process. Now is the time to pay attention to your will, your capacity to decide. Your will has probably settled on one of the alternatives before you. If so, make a tentative decision.
CONFIRM THE DECISION
In the ignatian approach to decision making, confirmation of decision usually involves feelings of spiritual consolation. This ste[ completes the integration of the whole person in the process of discernment and decision making.
MAKE YOUR DECISION EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT CERTAIN ABOUT IT
Our thoughts, will and feelings may all tell us that this decision is the right one but there are no guarantees. We don’t control the future. Knowing this, it is not unusual to hesitate at the point of making a final decision. We procrastinate, waiting for certainty. Decide, and trust in God. The decision, important as it is, is but a step on your journey. It’s means to an end, the end is God. If you keep the end in view, all will be well.
JOE PATERNO'S STORY
Joe Paterno became head of football coach at Penn. State University in 1966 and had outstanding success almost immediately. His teams were among the best in the country. They went undefeated in two seasons and won three prestigious bowl games. Paterno was heralded as one of the best college coaches in the country.
In 1972, Paterno received an offer to leave Penn. State University and coach the New England Patriots, a struggling professional team. Paterno, who was paid a salary of $ 35,000, would be paid $ 1.3 million by the Patriots- an unheard-of sum at the time. He would also get an ownership stake in the team. Paterno considered the decision carefully. He made a list of pros and cons. He talked to colleagues and mentors. All the signs pointed toward accepting the offer. The money was very attractive. But it was also a superb career opportunity for a young coach. Paterno accepted the job verbally and made plans to fly Boston to sign the contract. He told his wife, Sue, “Tonight, you get to sleep with a millionaire”
But Joe didn’t get much sleep. He lay awake thinking about his decision. He realized that what he really liked about coaching was working with young men and playing a role in their development as human beings. He saw that professional coaching could never mean what college coaching meant to him. He decided to turn down the job. In the morning he told his wife, “Last night you went bed with a millionaire, but this morning you woke up with me”
Paterno’s decision to leave Penn. State University seemed to make sense, but it was never confirmed. His misgivings did not go away. Instead they increased until Joe could see what he really wanted-not money and glory but the satisfaction of making positive difference in young men’s lives.
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